Hitler died: May 1, 1945
Bin Laden died: May 1, 2011
Charlie Sheen's Divorce is final: May 1, 2011
A coincidence? I don't think so!!!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Songs for the day
Let's follow the bouncing ball and all sing: "Usama lies under the Ocean"
I got some special covert intel, that states the CIA got the address from Godfather's Pizza
This could really help Herman Cain's campaign.
I got some special covert intel, that states the CIA got the address from Godfather's Pizza
This could really help Herman Cain's campaign.
Hoo Rah
To all our veterans and active military, with a special salute of appreciation for our covert operatives in the Navy Seals and Marine Corps..
Semper Fi
Semper Fi
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Hats
In the fifties, it was common for American men and women to wear hats. This fashion trend, like so many others was terminated when politicians/celebrities showed us a path of nonconformity.
In the thirties, all men wore Tee shirts, under their dress or casual shirts. Clark Gable shocked the nation by barring his chest in a famous 1939 movie. Tee shirt sales plummeted.
Hats met their end when JFK was inaugurated topless. Not only did this debilitate the Hat industry, but it gave men the freedom to no longer enter Ladies hat stores and make the nauseating decision whether his wife would prefer a bird's nest, wax fruit salad, or mosquito netting for their
nearly forgotten anniversary present.
But, HORROR OF HORRORS, is the hat back. At the royal wedding this week, grotesque coifs (now known as "Fascinators") appeared everywhere. One woman was dressed all in royal blue from heels to dress to gloves and finally what appeared to be a squashed grape or airport windsock on her head. A royal princess appeared to be wearing "antlers". I would advise her during "moose" season to stay as far away as possible from Sara Palin.
This just might be the last straw (no pun intended) to either boost or destroy our economy. The priorities of men and women will be tested again with another item of need. The old Mars/Venus syndrome.
I know at my house, when I state I am off to buy some necessary snake bite medicine (Scotch) or need to replenish our ammunition supply; I get "the look" and lecture on wasting money. Heaven forbid I should question the necessity of fresh flowers, catnip, or now a new hat.
What is "fascinating" for women is "fodder" for male cocktail conversation.
So beware and be ready. Those joyous days of "topless" delight are over.
Does Walmart sell "straw skimmers' or "Fedoras"?
In the thirties, all men wore Tee shirts, under their dress or casual shirts. Clark Gable shocked the nation by barring his chest in a famous 1939 movie. Tee shirt sales plummeted.
Hats met their end when JFK was inaugurated topless. Not only did this debilitate the Hat industry, but it gave men the freedom to no longer enter Ladies hat stores and make the nauseating decision whether his wife would prefer a bird's nest, wax fruit salad, or mosquito netting for their
nearly forgotten anniversary present.
But, HORROR OF HORRORS, is the hat back. At the royal wedding this week, grotesque coifs (now known as "Fascinators") appeared everywhere. One woman was dressed all in royal blue from heels to dress to gloves and finally what appeared to be a squashed grape or airport windsock on her head. A royal princess appeared to be wearing "antlers". I would advise her during "moose" season to stay as far away as possible from Sara Palin.
This just might be the last straw (no pun intended) to either boost or destroy our economy. The priorities of men and women will be tested again with another item of need. The old Mars/Venus syndrome.
I know at my house, when I state I am off to buy some necessary snake bite medicine (Scotch) or need to replenish our ammunition supply; I get "the look" and lecture on wasting money. Heaven forbid I should question the necessity of fresh flowers, catnip, or now a new hat.
What is "fascinating" for women is "fodder" for male cocktail conversation.
So beware and be ready. Those joyous days of "topless" delight are over.
Does Walmart sell "straw skimmers' or "Fedoras"?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
CANTRELL FOR PRESIDENT
I am announcing today the formation of an"Exploratory Presidential Committee" concerning my possible entry into the 2012 Presidential election. After all the numerous committees being formed by "maybe"
candidates; such as Trump, Paul, Huckabee, Palin, and Bachman, and after consuming several "Martinis", I became convinced it was my duty to throw my Stetson in the ring. Unfortunately,
the ring was my spa and chlorine and beaver hats are not compatible.
Here are some reasons, I feel I would be a good "Maybe" candidate for this great office:
1. I have absolutely no political experience
2. I never attended Harvard or any Ivy League school
3. I am not rich - I know how it is to budget/ paycheck to paycheck
4. I believe as Jackie Gleason did: "If you feel money is the root of all evil; you don't know where to shop." "The Entrepreneurs shall rise again."
5. I believe all men are created equal; as did the great equalizer: Samuel Colt
6. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the proper reply or vote on most spending bills in Congress is: "Bullshit!"
7. People outside Nevada should not have to pay for Cowboy Poets, and we people outside DC
need not pay for Cherry Blossom parades.
I also feel this is necessary to honor those great men in the past that have had to courage to run for President, I am, of course speaking of W. C. Fields, 1935 and Pat Paulsen, 1968. I especially enjoyed Mr. Fields' campaign soliloquy: "How not to pay Federal Income Tax and what to do and see while at Alcatraz." Quite inspiring.
Attached is just a sampling of Pat Paulsen's "almost to the point" campaign:
In closing, to paraphrase Groucho Marx: "I would never live in a country that would have me as it President"
"Hail to the Chef "- no really, I am hungry
DONATIONS TO THE CANTRELL FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN WILL BE GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED IN MOST VARIETIES OF LIQUID ASSETS. -
candidates; such as Trump, Paul, Huckabee, Palin, and Bachman, and after consuming several "Martinis", I became convinced it was my duty to throw my Stetson in the ring. Unfortunately,
the ring was my spa and chlorine and beaver hats are not compatible.
Here are some reasons, I feel I would be a good "Maybe" candidate for this great office:
1. I have absolutely no political experience
2. I never attended Harvard or any Ivy League school
3. I am not rich - I know how it is to budget/ paycheck to paycheck
4. I believe as Jackie Gleason did: "If you feel money is the root of all evil; you don't know where to shop." "The Entrepreneurs shall rise again."
5. I believe all men are created equal; as did the great equalizer: Samuel Colt
6. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the proper reply or vote on most spending bills in Congress is: "Bullshit!"
7. People outside Nevada should not have to pay for Cowboy Poets, and we people outside DC
need not pay for Cherry Blossom parades.
I also feel this is necessary to honor those great men in the past that have had to courage to run for President, I am, of course speaking of W. C. Fields, 1935 and Pat Paulsen, 1968. I especially enjoyed Mr. Fields' campaign soliloquy: "How not to pay Federal Income Tax and what to do and see while at Alcatraz." Quite inspiring.
Attached is just a sampling of Pat Paulsen's "almost to the point" campaign:
"Hail to the Chef "- no really, I am hungry
DONATIONS TO THE CANTRELL FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN WILL BE GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED IN MOST VARIETIES OF LIQUID ASSETS. -
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